"Learning to Live Loved"

     As some of you may know, I've been reading The Shack... Gosh, I feel like this book is blowing my mind, and to be honest, really helping me think about and develop my own faith. I've been recommending this book to just about everyone, so if you have not had a chance to read it, you really should take the time. It's not a book where I believe everything to a "T," but I do think the author uses actual conversations with the trinity to explain concepts in a much more tangible way.

     I'm about three-fourths of the way in, and in this time, Mackenzie Phillips has learned a lot about what God's love really means and how we, as children of God, can respond to this love. The more I read, the more I'm realizing what a gift this is, to be unconditionally loved by the God powerful enough to create it all! It wasn't until Saturday while reading that I truly realized what this meant. Mack is struggling to find a way to balance work and bills and a family with his growing relationship with God, Mack asks Jesus:

"So what do I do now?"

"What you're already doing, Mack--learning to live loved."

     Upon reading this, tears filled my eyes. What does it mean to live every day knowing that you are loved unconditionally? What does it mean to to walk this life with God, where the only happiness you seek comes from the Creator? The more I reflected on this, I realized that there would be no need to put down others, or judge them in any sense of the word. You would give your whole self to helping others simply because God calls us to love one another. And the best part is, this love isn't something you have to strive for, it is freely given, and in doing so, it frees us love out loud.


After thought:
     I posted all of this yesterday, but again, I see how God works in mysterious ways... As I'm editing the PowerPoint for this Sunday's service, our Prayer of Confession reads as follows:

Made in your image, we are hard wired for relationships, Lord.  And yet, it seems that relationships are where we struggle most arduously to live out the command to love one another.  Instead of living in communion with the mutual respect and grace we witness in the relationships of the Trinity, we prefer to dominate and subject one another to imposed authority. Forgive us. Teach us. Lead us in a better way.

Amen.

YAVs Do "Tacky Tourist Day"

     Yesterday, all seven residents of 2305 W. Saunders Ave. explored the downtown area of San Antonio, TX, and I'm pleased to report: It was a blast!

     We've been living here for just under two weeks now, so we were definitely due for some time getting to know our city! Since my work at Divine Redeemer is walking distance for the house, I finally had a chance to experience the bus system, which I will admit was a little confusing. Luckily, I had people with me that are very experienced with how to get to and from downtown, but I'm adding "become familiar with the bus system" to my to-do list!

     I wasn't sure I realized how much of a tourist area San Antonio was, but everywhere we went, there were what I would definitely call "tourist attractions:" Texas shirts sold here! Everything about the Alamo! San Antonio Spurs merchandise! It was a little overwhelming, especially when we got swept into a few of the shops, but where else was I going to buy postcards to send all my friends?

     Regardless, through the mess, we did find our way to the Alamo, which I must admit was a little, as Tori put it, "underwhelming" simply because it was so much smaller that we anticipated. I was interesting to read the history though, especially since it had so much to do with how San Antonio came about.

     Eventually, we made our way to the Riverwalk, which is an amazing part of the city. We all agreed we'd have to come back here again for a night out on the town. All in all, the day turned out to be rather wonderful and just another reason I can add to why I'm very glad to be here!

Work Begins

     After a restful Labor Day, the time came for our jobs to start up...

     I will admit that this morning was a bit of a challenge, but not in the way you'd expect. I didn't have to report to Divine Redeemer until 1:30 pm, and once the house was empty, with each member at their own respective sites, I was beginning to feel a little useless. (Luckily, not every day will be like this, but I am hoping to use my longer mornings to do something productive, like work out or study up on my Spanish.)

     Once I got to the church though, it was amazing how fast time flew!

     Hope and Ignacia are the women in charge of Peace Pals (where I'll be helping every Tuesday and Thursday.) When I arrived, they gave me a run-down of the afternoon and the expectations they have for me as well as a bit of advice, which was much appreciated. We walked the four blocks from Crockett Elementary with a train of 16 children. During this time, I tried to get to know a few of them, but it wasn't until I was talking to a second grader named Pablo that I realized not all of these children spoke English and come to find out that about a third of the children only speak Spanish...

     I will admit, this worried me a bit. For as many Spanish classes as I've had in my life, I still wasn't sure it was going to be enough to tutor these kids if I couldn't explain things well. I guess you could say I had my work cut out for me.

     When the first question came, my teacher instincts kicked in. I actually taught fifth graders decimal place value and second graders number lines, while reading directions all in Spanish! I ran a reading circle with a group of first graders, of which only half spoke English, and eventually I found myself speaking in Spanish to everyone, and they understood me, and I was proud!

     It was amazing to see that in the span of four hours, I actually built relationships with these kids to the point where they hugged me goodbye, and I am so glad to have had experience teaching to where I feel like these kids are going home not having the right answers, but knowing how to find them!

Picture Time

Naturally, I had to get a picture of
the first San Antonio Spurs flag
I saw when I arrived. After
backing the team a few games
before the finals (just because
I was moving here) to
following them to victory, has
definitely sealed my allegiance!

San Antonio Spurs - MBA

We met Rob Muler, the pastor of Divine
Redeemer PCUSA. He showed us
around a bit and introduced us to
every person we came across.
A random connection with Rob
arose when we realized we
both knew my mother, seems to
happen a lot to me these days.

Divine Redeemer Presbyterian Church USA

Julius Lorenzi is a housemate of mine who has had the privilege of growing up in San Antonio all his life. When we first arrived, he said, "Westside is the poorest part of San Antonio, but it is also the richest." Our portion of the city has the most murals, we find them everywhere: the community garden, the playground, the bathroom door!

Finally, I leave you with this; a quote on service. I don't know who it's by, but it was posted on the refrigerator at Divine Redeemer, and I loved it so much, I had to take a picture in order remember and reflect on it again and again. Sometimes, we need a reminder like this.

First Impressions

     Yesterday, after a long day of travel, all seven of us has made it to our house in San Antonio!

     I'm not even sure everything has hit me yet, but it's real! I've walked in the house, I've eaten the food, I've faced a slight language barrier just ordering tacos, which are apparently a breakfast food. (My life has been a lie!)

     Today, I had my first meeting with Andrew, the director of MEYO, with all sorts of information on my job title for the coming year. MEYO encompasses two different after-school programs: Peace Pals (1st-5th grade) and House of Teens (6th through 12th grade.)

     The program has four main pillars: Personal Development, Community Service, Character Development, and Post High School Graduate Preparation. MEYO does a lot of work from within the community to promote helping others, developing good health and study habits, and working to become caring, responsible adults.

     My first impression was definitely a good one. After 10 years, this program has developed a pretty great system at accomplishing their goals, and I am very glad to be joining the team!

Passover Remembered

     It’s hard to express this past week in words… But the feelings I have and the friends I’ve made are not likely to fade any time soon.

     I have been filled in a way that is unlike any time before. And I think a lot of this is attributed to the fact that friendships weren’t made through small talk or the kind of music we enjoy, but the discussion of real issues around the world and what we are called to do as followers of Christ.

     Every night, right before bed, we were left with these words: our call. Every time they were read, they found a deeper place in my heart. I invite you to read them aloud to yourself. It is my hope that hearing this will help you better understand the year to come.

Passover Remembered

By Alla Renee Bozarth

Pack nothing.

Bring only your determination to serve

and your willingness to be free.

     Don’t wait for the bread to rise.

     Take nourishment for the journey,

     but eat standing.

     Be ready to move at a moment’s notice.

Do not hesitate to leave your old ways behind--Fear, silence, submission.

     Only surrender to the need of the time:

     to love justice and walk humbly with your God.

Do not take time to explain to the neighbors,

Tell only a few trusted friends and family members.

     Then begin quickly, before you have time to sink back into the old ways.

Set out in the dark.

I will send fire to warm and encourage you.

I will be with you in the fire,

and I will be with you in the cloud.

      You will learn to eat new food and find refuge in new places.

      I will give you dreams in the desert

     to guide you safely home to that place

      you have not yet seen.

The stories you will tell one another around the fires in the dark will make you strong and wise.

Outsiders will attack you and some will follow you,

and at times you will get weary

and turn on each other

from fear fatigue and blind forgetfulness.

You have been preparing for this for hundreds of years.

I am sending you into the wilderness to make a new way

and to learn my ways more deeply.

     Some of you are so changed

     by weathers and wanderings

     that even your  closest friends

     will have to learn your features

     as though for the first time.

     Some of you are not changed at all.

     Some are abandoned by your dearest loves

     and misunderstood by those

     who have known you since birth.

     Some find new friendships

     in unlikely faces, and old friends

     as faithful and true

     as the pillar of God’s flame.

Sing songs as you go,

and hold close together.

You may at times grow confused

and lose your way.

Continue to call each other

by the names I’ve given you,

to help you remember who you are.

Touch each other and keep telling the stories.

     Make maps as you go

     remembering the way back

     from before you were born.

So you will be only the first

of many waves of deliverance on these desert seas.

It is the first of many beginnings--your Paschaltide.

Remain true to this mystery.

     Pass on the whole story.

Do not go back.

     I am with you now

     and I am waiting for you.

Update from Stony Point, NY

     The last two days have been a whirlwind of information, all good things!

     I am currently at Stony Point, NY, the place of my birth, oddly enough, to embark on the birth of a new journey, one that will take me far from home.

     In just five days, I will be heading to San Antonio, Texas, and it's all becoming so real! An entire year of my life is about to be offered up to the work of God, and I'm almost in awe...

     Yesterday, we took a seven hour class on the racism still very prevalent in the United States, and during this class, we talked a lot about privilege. The privilege we have simply based on how we are perceived, from gender to skin color to socio economic status. The fact that we are privileged enough to give up an entire year of gainful employment for a placement in an unfamiliar place with little to no pay. We are truly a group of blessed individuals...

     As I was reflecting with my small group, I found that many people had a thought process similar to my own, racism isn't really a big issue anymore. But the more they spoke, the more I realized that this issue is an underlying part of our everyday life.

     One statistic that really popped out to me: 1 in 3 black men can expect to be in prison sometime in their life. For white men, the statistic is 1 in 17! Upon further research, I found that 30% of the United States population is made up by people of color, but they account for 60% of those imprisoned in jails today!

     I honestly, can't wrap my mind around it!

     How many intentional conversations do we have to have before this issue is resolved? I don't have the answer to that, but I do believe that if people are educated on this, and not only become aware of the issue but also actively speak up against it, we will all be surprised at the power our words can have.

Peace be with you all,
Abby